The Story of Our Lives
by Nargles and Redvines
Summary: Being banished to a swamp isn't all that bad. Right?


Another Shrek the Musical fanfic!, Enjoy and review please!

* * *

(_**Pinocchio's P.O.V**_)

Everyone was mumbling things about the swamp, including me, about how gross, disgusting and smelly it was, and the guard kept telling us things like, "Right this way. Don't mind the mud. You'll get used it", as he chuckled to himself.

"This place is a dump", I said, still looking around.

"Its awful!", yelled a Little Pig, I think his name was Sticks.

"Take deep breaths, brother", said his brother, Straw.

"He has panic attacks", explained his third brother, Bricks. Suddenly Fairy Godmother walked up beside him.

"This Little Piggy needs some paxil", she said in an unusally happy tone, and began to reach into her purple bag for it, just as Sticks grabbed for it also. That's when the guard spoke again.

"Look you read Lord Farquaad's decree", he said very strictly as he walked up to me, and banged the end of his sword on the ground. I was just annoyed. How could we not read it? The guard made each of us read it 5 times. And even when we weren't reading it, he had us listen to him read it as we were walking to this junkyard.

"Yeah, yeah, we read it", I said, very annoyed, and began to recite it, "All Fairytale Creatures have been banished from the Kingdom of Duloc. All fruitcakes and freaks, will be sent to a-", I air quoted this part, "resettlement facility", I finished, while looking at the guard, and he too looked at me with disgust. He was about to say something, but Lee, the Shoemakers' Elf, came next to me, and looked up at the guard.

"Umm, it smells like butt", she told him honestly. The rest of us, agreed with her, but the guard then blew his whistle, so loud, we were all a little scared by it, and gathered in a small group. I hid with the Ugly Duckling, who was shaking out of fear behind Papa, Mama, and Baby Bear, I couldn't really blame her.

"When I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the Puppet" said the guard.

"I am not a puppet, I'm a real boy", I explained, feeling really annoyed. How many times do I have to keep telling everyone that I am a real boy? But, of course, my nose grew, just as it always does when I say that. I looked at everybody, but they all backed off a little when I looked at them. And when I looked back at the guard, I laughed, trying to see if he'd take it as a joke, but instead, he seemed to get angrier.

"That's your patch of mud down there", he yelled at me, as he pointed his sword at a tree stump.

"Thank you very much", I quickly said, scared that the sword was very close to me, and I slumped over to the stump. When I was away from him, I once again got annoyed and rolled my eyes, as I listened to the guard calling others.

"Shoemakers' Elf!", yelled the guard.

"Yes, right here!", piped up Lee, but not before she took another deep breathe in a paper bag she was carrying around with her before we got here. She did as I did; she went over to him, he pointed to where she should go with his sword, and she went.

"Ugly Duckling", continued the guard, causing Duckling to waddle over to him and raise her wings in the air. After he checked her off his list, she sat down and looked around with a scared look on her face.

I took a quick look at everyone, and just became sick and tired of this whole situation. How could this have happened? I then decided to say out loud what I was thinking. It wasn't going to change anything, but it couldn't hurt, right? "Oh, dumped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap", I complained, and thought of what has occurred in my life, and thought how nothing good has happened to me. Was being stuck in this filthy swamp, going to be the rest of my life? It cant be. But even so, I returned to thinking out loud.

_"Life is disappointing, woe is what I know", _right now, that's true._  
_

_"Outed by my nose, that's just how it goes,  
for poor Pinocchio", _I pointed to my nose when I sang this.

_"Story of my life,  
always doomed to fail,  
Cheated by a fox,  
Swallowed by a whale", _I cringed at that part._  
_

_"That's the story of my life, oh yeah,  
that's the story of my life", _I concluded. And I was right, it didn't change anything, but it didn't feel worthless letting it out either. The rest of the time I spent watching the others getting checked by the guard who has now moved onto the Three Bears.

"Three Bears, take your spot over there by that sign", he said as he pointed towards a sign that read there was an Ogre here. I sure hope that's was just a prank! And the guard continued to talk. "No that's too far", he said, and the bears backed away from the sign. "Too close", they moved right in the middle of the sign and the guard. "Ahh, just right", he said with a fake happy tone in his voice, while the bears gave him an irritated glare.

My idea of talking about my problems seemed to have caught on with everyone else. They _must_ have heard me, because they started to do the same thing I did.

_"Strife is never ending", _cried Lee, as she was playing with her hammer she used to help make shoes with.

"Fairy Godmother!", exclaimed the guard, who seemed to be ignoring Lee.

_"Banished from the town", _said Peter, clutching onto his lamp; it being the only thing of home he had left.

"Wicked Witch", continued the guard. Now _he_ was starting to get on my nerves.

_"They dragged me_ _from the pond", _said Duckling. It was strange hearing her talk, mostly because the whole time we were together, she didn't say one word.

_"They broke my magic wand", _responded Godmother, while she waved her wand, that was still a little bit attached, but looked like it could snap anytime.

_"Zee blew our condos down", _said the piggies. I then got off the stump, picked up my suitcase and walked away from where the guard was checking off everybody and walked over to Baby Bear. He was also scared, I could tell because he was holding onto his sleeping bag very tightly. I told him it would be okay, which made him smile at me, as he moved closer to his Papa Bear. I went back to listening to everybody else talk about their lives.

"Mad Hatter", said the guard.

_"Life is but a witch hunt", _said the Wicked Witch, who didn't seem to have a lot of expression in her voice. That made sense, I guess, she was evil, and well, evil people don't really have a happy side. Or at least that's what the stories say about witches.

_"Mama's in the mud,  
Mama's in distress", _said Mama. As soon as she started crying, Papa Bear walked over to comfort her, and tagging along right behind him, was their son.

_"They ridiculed my hat", _said a surprised Mad Hatter_._ I'm guessing he thought he looked pretty good, but yes that hat was a little bit over the top. Even his staff with a teapot on top, was also a bit much.

_"Zee said that vee vere fat", _complained the pigs to the guard, who seemed to be agitated they were even near him.

_"They tore my cotton granny dress,  
and called me a hot and tranny mess", _huffed and puffed the Big Bad Wolf. I'll admit, it made me chuckle, but only a little, seeing him in a dress. That was a bit weird, just like some of these other guys. But I wasn't going to tell them that to their faces, of course.

"Sugar Plum Fairy", said the guard. And the girl with candies in her hair, and who also wore a pink tutu, walked forward, so the guard could check her. I noticed that when he had her arrested, she had a very deep voice. Not one you would expect from a fairy, but hey, my best and only friend is a cricket, so who am I to judge, really?

At this point, the guard was finished with his list, and was double checking it, which gave us the opportunity to talk to each other, and express what we all felt. And as I was singing, I was facing Hatter. Also, it looked as if we were all moving around each other, almost like, dancing? Oh well.

_"Story of my life,  
booted from the ball,  
the party's off the hook", _we all sang, and watched as Tweedle Dum walked in front of us, and we listened.

_"But I'm too off the wall", _she sang. By the way, where was her brother?

_"That's the story of my life", _we repeated, as we got together in a straight line, waiting to see what would happen next. We got our answer when a second guard appeared dragging

"You're late rabbit", yelled the second guard, who, might I add, seemed very sweaty, trying to chase the Rabbit and bring him here, I'm guessing.

"_That's the story of my life"_, sang Rabbit when he looked at his watch and shrugged his shoulders, as the guards forced him in line with us.

"Have fun you guys", said the guard. He was joking, right?

_"That's the story of my life", _we repeated once more, as the new guy joined us in singing, and as he looked at us. The two guards were about to leave, when the first one turned back to us, and suddenly got a grin on his face.

"And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed", he said, I knew that wasn't a joke! He didn't tell us that. But the next thing I knew, we all freaked out, and some huddled together for safety. The guards then left us in the swamp, laughing evilly. After we stopped freaking out, we got back in the straight line, watched as the guards left, and stood together. I was surprised when they all wished the same thing I was wishing for.

_"I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending", _we all said. Maybe we weren't all that different, but still, we _were_ different, that was the point.

_"And this right here,  
not how it goes", _said Witch, still in the same expressionless voice from before.

_"I always dreamed I'd get an ever after,  
if this is it,  
it blows, it blows, it blows", _we continued to sing, and also kept dancing, I guess?

As soon as they all turned away from me, I said something, for some reason, I didn't want these guys to hear. "This is worse than the time I caught Dutch Elm Disease in Tijuana", I added in. They once again faced me, and we kept discussing this.

_"Story of my life,  
all the wasted prayers,  
all the broken dreams", _all of us except for the Three Bears walked away and got into a small group, and faced the bears.

_"All the broken chairs", _sang the bears, telling us what that girl, Goldilocks did.

_"All the damage done", _we joined them, agreeing with what they said, mainly because it was true.

_"All the busted beds", _the three of them sang_._

_"All the shattered bowls", _the rest of us chorused.

_"And the pourage on our heads", _the bears concluded. I kept a reminder that if I ever get out of here, to never invite that little girl to my father's workshop.

_"That's the story of my life, yes sir,  
that's the story of my life, oh vey,  
that's the story of my,  
life", _we finished singing, and stood still for a second, realizing we all had our own problems. Yet we were all here for, maybe the same reason? The decree said because we are freaks, but that can't be true. I guess we'll find out later.

In the meantime, it didn't look like we were going anywhere for a while, so each of us grabbed out things, and sat down around the swamp. Mostly because we were tired from walking, even though this place was as disgusting as could be, some sat, and some stood.

"It might be a while guys. May as well make the best of it", I suggested as others were also talking. But all of a sudden, it was pretty clear that we were not alone, when a big, green Ogre came and-, wait! AN OGRE!?


End file.
